Sleep Isn't an Escape
by LovelyLovelessInDenial
Summary: Ninjas have nightmares. It wasn't talked about, they didn't teach it to you in the academy. It wasn't listed as a job hazard. There weren't classes designed to help you when you wake up sweaty and shaky in the dead of night. It was simply another thing ninjas had to deal with.


Ninjas have nightmares. It wasn't talked about, they didn't teach it to you in the academy. It wasn't listed as a job hazard. There weren't classes designed to help you when you wake up sweaty and shaky in the dead of night. It was simply another thing ninjas had to deal with.

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><p>.<p>

Sakura had nightmares of being all alone and being too weak. She had nightmares of cold, dark rooms with no windows, red unblinking eyes staring from corners and shadows. Her nightmares swirled around the fear of being left all alone because she couldn't keep up. She had nightmares of broken boys who kept screaming and screaming for her help, begging and blaming and crying. Nightmares of golden boys dying in front of her, nightmares of the sun going dark. The worst were nightmares of choking on the blood of everyone she's ever killed, drowning in thick dark liquid that tasted just like the salty bitterness of her first murder. She had nightmares of bloodied fingers and shattered souls, and all the bad things a little pink-haired girl should've never seen, never done, never been.

When she wakes up (sweaty and crying with bleeding claw marks from her own nails) she goes and trains until her knuckles have been broken and healed too many times for one day. She trains until she is scarred and broken, until her muscles scream from under her skin. She moves up and up and up in the ranks until she is ANBU, and everything that comes along with it. She strengthens herself, tossing out all the weak pieces like trash, until she isn't quite human anymore, isn't quite herself anymore. And still she trains and trains and trains so she'll never be too weak ever again, so that no one she loves will ever die again.

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><p>Naruto had nightmares of glaring eyes and coarse orange fur. He had nightmares of mobs and screams and hurthurthurt. His nightmares swirled in dark alleys and fiery torches and the yells of hatred. He had nightmares of loneliness, endless darkness where he was the only one. His nightmares center around the long nights hiding from screaming men, knives in their hands and knives in their hearts. The truths they would tell him, about him being worthless and unloved. The nightmares of everyone he loves dying, the nightmares of everyone he loves not loving him.<p>

When he wakes up (gasping and screaming with rips in his pajamas) he goes out and talks and laughs, and he saves other broken people. He saves people who've fallen into the dark. (like his brother. He wants to save his brother, but his brother doesn't want to be saved) He gives inspirational speeches and makes friends and shows himself he will never have to be alone ever again. He falls in love with flowers and fairy tales and smiles with a whole village of people who will never hurt him again. He becomes their benevolent leader, showing mercy and compassion in all his decisions.

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><p>Kakashi has nightmares of leaving while people scream for him, scream that he can help them, scream that he is lower that trash. Nightmares of failing three young, bright eyed children with hope in their eyes and fire in their hearts. Nightmares of stolen things, nightmares of his teammates soul screaming for its eye, following him and whispering in his ear. His worst nightmares were of his dad, his dad who just wouldn't stop crying and yelling and drinking while he pleaded with him to stop because goddammit you're hurting me too.<p>

When he wakes up he goes and pounds teamwork into his teams heads, teaches them to always look out for each other and love each other and do all the things he couldn't do for his team. He lives through them, through there smiles and their friendship and the sparkling innocence he sees glitter in their wide eyes. And when Sasuke leaves he dies a lot on the inside, because fucking hell, he was supposed to fix them and he can't even do that. He can't even help children, how could he ever help anyone?

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><p>Sasuke used to have nightmares. He used to have nightmares of red Ferris wheels that wouldn't let you off. He used to have nightmares about spinning eyes and spinning worlds, and parents who were to strict and too overbearing and too cruel. He used to have nightmares about all sorts of things, like the suffocating loneliness of living in a compound without a family and the brokenness of blood and not blood brothers fighting and the power, the power he needed but didn't have, the power snakes and lies would give him.<p>

He used to have nightmares about all of that, but now he doesn't. Now he has dreams. He has dreams about golden friendship and getting powerful enough to defeat Itachi with two beautiful people supporting and loving him. He dreams of pink hair and cherry flavored kisses. He dreams of golden hair and warm touches. He dreams of long nights spent talking and staring at crystal clear stars and long missions accompanied by the comforting warmth of friendship and two smiles that are smiling _with_ him. He dreams of the fatherly approval of a masked man. He dreams of the life he could've had.

And that makes waking up a nightmare.

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><p>AN: hey, it's a one shot. I don't like it that much, especially the description, but I figure I wrote it so I might as well post it. And I couldn't think of a better description. Oh well. Please don't flame, flames hurt my soul.


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